


In the Beginning

by whatiathisworld45



Category: Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Reader, Gray Jedi, Jedi Temple, Nightmares, Padawan, Pain, The Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-06-26 23:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15673773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatiathisworld45/pseuds/whatiathisworld45
Summary: In the beginning, before Kylo Ren, there was Ben Solo.There was Ben Solo and there was Ayla.Ayla, an immensely powerful Force Sensitive whose powers surpass those of even the feared Darth Vader, comes with her Master to the Jedi Temple where she meets a young, angry and confused dark haired teenager. Both are equally tormented; he by his complex family history and a voice that calls to him, seductively dark, inside his head - and she by her potentially limitless control over the Force, and all the frightening implications that has. Can these two heal themselves, and each other?Or will Darkness claim a new victim?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first "proper" fic that I have written. I've previously dabbled in writing but never really written one - but thought that it was finally time to have a go! All comments and criticisms welcome, thank you for reading!

The temple burned. Flames rose mercilessly among the large stone building that was the Jedi temple where so many young padawans had come to learn, practising their lightsabre forms in the lush gardens with teeth gritted, muscles taut as they swung their training sabres gracefully in the air. Now all that remained was a temple aflame, the fire roaring as it devoured all in its’ path; and if one listened closely, there was the faint sound of screams echoing in the distance.  
\----  
“No!” Ayla screamed, sitting bolt upright, sweat pouring down her brow. She heaved great breaths in, her whole body shaking as she tried to understand what had just happened. There had been a temple – not the Grey Temple that she was accustomed to, as a Grey Jedi apprentice – but a tall, stone one set in sprawling grounds. It had been on fire – flames had caressed it in a vicious embrace, engulfing it completely. And the screams – oh, the screams-

“Ayla!” She whipped around as her Master, Fallon Bryon, burst in. His blue eyes darted around the room, scanning for danger; sensing none, he then he strode to her side, crouching down. He tenderly brushed the brown curls that had fallen in front of her face out of her eyes, and looked enquiringly at her.  
“What is it? Have you seen something again?” he asked, the lines in his forehead furrowing.  
Ayla clung to him, too afraid to remember that she was a grown adult now, and should not need to cling to her Master as a youngling does to its’ parent.

“Yes,” she gulped. She sniffed, feeling slightly embarrassed at the state she was in but she was too close to her Master to care, and continued. 

“There was a building...a tall temple, I think? Not like ours, but - a place of learning...It was on fire. It was totally engulfed by it. And I could hear the screams….” she shuddered, the echoes of the dying chorusing around her. Her master soothed her as he thought.

Eventually, he said, “It may not be a vision, Ayla. You’ve had bad dreams before that haven’t come true”. Ayla, however, was not so sure.  
“I think….I think this one was real, Master. It felt...it felt like the others did. Before, when they came true...” she trailed off. She was strongly gifted in the Force and sometimes that manifested itself in visions. Sometimes this had meant she was able to prevent a tragedy before it happened; warn those doomed of their impending fate and save their lives. Other times, however, she simply had bad dreams, as every other person did. The difficulty was telling the difference between the two….

Her Master pulled back slightly and looked at her consideringly. 

“Perhaps it was a warning then….Did you recognise it at all?” he asked, his face kindly. Ayla shook her head. Fallon frowned thoughtfully, his eyes far away as he took in all that she had said. Her Master was aware of her concerns about ignoring these dreams, aware of her fear that perhaps the one that she chalked up to being just a nightmare was in fact a real vision. A real vision, with real consequences that she had done nothing to prevent.

“Perhaps we can look into temples then...search the Holonet for famous ones, and see if you recognise them. If it is an event that we can prevent happening, we must do all that we can,” he asserted. Ayla nodded – moments like this were times when she was pleased that she was so strong with the Force. Saving lives – preventing misfortune – was her calling in life and always had been since she demonstrated her Force powers at a young age. If she could save these people, then she must. She must. 

“We will tell the Council tomorrow and seek their guidance,” Master Fallon said finally after a few moments. Ayla nodded again. The Grey Jedi Council was a small group of those who called themselves Grey Jedi – Jedi who walked the line between the Light and the Dark sides of the Force. Though they fought primarily on the side of the Light, they rejected the teaching of the Original Jedi who proclaimed that all emotion should be suppressed, and that only serenity should take its’ place. Whilst the Grey Jedi recognised that a cool head and a detached mode of thinking could have its place in decision making, they also understood that emotion, if properly controlled, could lead to acts that were pure and true. Love was not a weakness, but a strength – as long as it was properly channelled. Love that created evil acts, such as those that Anakin Skywalker committed to save his wife, was undoubtedly Dark – but when controlled, Love could prompt the greatest acts of selflessness, of greatness, that a person could ever carry out. It was this fine line that they walked - between denying the happiness that Love and emotion could create, and the destruction it could cause - that they balanced precariously on, like a silk tightrope that veered dangerously to one side or the other constantly. 

Ayla smiled tentatively as her Master stroked her hair gently. The command she had over the Force could be...difficult at times. But I gave her the chance to help those who otherwise would perish. And surely that was all that mattered?


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my very first fic so all comments/kudos are welcome! Thanks for reading, it really means a lot to me!

“You will like it at the temple, Ayla,” her Master assured her. Ayla worried at her lip, nervous.

“But Master….won’t they – fear me?” she asked tremulously. This was her greatest fear. Gifted in the Force far beyond any creature yet born, Ayla’s powers were both a blessing...and a curse. Such great power led others to fear and shun her, in terror of what she might choose to do with it. Unfortunately, at times when she was in a highly emotional state, her powers would sometimes become too much for her to control. Not that she ever hurt anyone – she would never harm someone who did not deserve it. But sometimes… Sometimes, she lost control and they spilled out of her.

Her Master smiled at her kindly, knowing her fears before she had to speak them aloud. Of everyone she had ever met, her Master was the most unfailingly kind and understanding, never judging her and always encouraging her. He knew the potential of her powers; that she could do things no one in recorded history could do. But he always remained steadfast, never wavering in his commitment to teaching her and helping her to pass through the obstacles that life inevitable threw at them. This sometimes led to difficulties for himself, as people either criticised his teaching methods or attempted to influence him in the hopes of indirectly influencing her. 

“No, Ayla. They may be curious, and people naturally fear what they do not understand; but your kind heart and enthusiasm will surely teach them otherwise,” he reassured her. A tall man in his forties, he had observant brown eyes and threads of grey were now beginning to appear in his blonde hair, something that she occasionally lightly teased him about.

Ayla frowned slightly. She did indeed try her best to be kind to all, and she was fervent in her lessons as she was desperate to harness the Force that she sensed so much more keenly than any others, even the Grey Jedi Masters. Under their tutelage, she strove to understand. The Force she felt flowed through every living being...a connection between them all...cascading through them until she felt as though she lived in a constant river, the Force dipping and swirling between herself and the world. She had felt its stirrings when she was only a few years old, and she had only grown stronger since. 

The Grey Jedi were a world apart from the traditional Jedi they were to visit. The original Jedi believed that they must not feel strong emotion, that the key to the Force was the precise opposite of the Dark Force Users, who used passion and strong emotions such as hate and greed to fuel their powers. The Jedi proved a stark opposition to these emotion-driven Force sensitives, and encouraged emotional detachment above all as a way to create peace in the Galaxy. The Grey Jedi, however, walked a precarious path between the two oppositional sides. They believed that emotion, when properly controlled and channelled, could provide the purest understanding of the Force and the living inhabitants that it flowed through.

“After all,” Master Jedson, one of the Grey Jedi Masters proclaimed solemnly, “what love can there be that is greater than that of a parent for her children? Or a spouse for their beloved? As long as that love drives the desire to improve the Galaxy for the better” - and not drive you to the Dark Side, like Anankin Skywalker, was the unspoken comment - “how can emotion truly be a bad thing?”. And so Ayla learned that to harness that emotion and use it to drive for rightness in the Galaxy was surely the calling of those born able to feel the gentle caress of the Force. For Ayla, as the most powerful of those so born, surely this was a goal she must achieve. 

But still...the journey to Luke Skywalker’s Jedi Temple stirred unease within her. She was afraid, it was true, of the reactions of the other padawans; as a Grey Jedi apprentice, she would already be different from them, her learning so different from theirs. Her strong command over the Force would only render her more strange in their eyes, and she dreaded the judgements they would surely make of her.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! If you like it, please give me a comment or Kudos; nothing makes my day like it! Thanks :) As always, suggestions welcome for improvement.

Around Ayla, the hum of the engines of the starship she was on began to rise, indicating that they were nearing their destination. She shifted in her seat and fastened her security belt, toying nervously with the long, slim plait that fell down one side of her head. Though not required like Jedi padawans to sport a braid in their hair to proclaim their status to the galaxy, many Grey Jedi padawans chose to appropriate some version of it. Ayla’s was a slender plait that was threaded with silver grey thread and fell to frame the left side of her face.

Master Fallon settled into the seat besides her, clipping his belt securely and Ayla felt a slight tug as one of her brunette curls twitched by her cheek. She suppressed a smile, choosing instead to shake her head mock-seriously at her Master at his use of the Force, reminiscent of his tricks that he used to amuse her as a child. She had been with Master Fallon for almost as long as she could remember and had rarely been away from him for longer than a night or so, although she had had some eperate instruction from the other Masters. This temple that they were to visit, however, was only run by one Master, Luke Skywalker.

It was Luke Skywalker who met them as they descended from their shuttle, standing quite a bit shorter than Master Fallon, with light blonde hair and crinkles beginning at the corners of his eyes. A light beard covered his chin, and he wore the traditional robes of a Jedi Knight, in light camel and beige. Once they stood before him, Ayla bowed in respect, and Fallon inclined his head , shaking hands warmly with Skywalker. They had met before, though not frequently, and though they held differing views about the use of the Force, they respected one another.

“You are welcome, Fallon, and your apprentice as well,” Luke said warmly, smiling at Ayla, who shyly smiled back.

“Thank you Luke, it has been far too long since we saw one another - It seems both of our time has been taken up by teaching, no? This is Ayla,” Fallon introduced her. 

“A pleasure to meet you Ayla. We have heard a great deal about you,” Luke remarked. This seemed a loaded response to Ayla; the “we” indicating she was the topic of discussion not just within the temple, but within the councils of the Jedi Masters that Skywalker belonged to. She also did not miss his failure to elaborate on precisely what it was that they had heard about her. Before she could think any more on it, he continued “It seems the art of teaching is perhaps the hardest lesson I have ever had to learn, Fallon. The wonder of a young padawan discovering the Force is an incredible sight – keeping all of them the rest of the time, however, seems to be nigh on impossible,” he said wryly. 

Fallon’s face creased into a smile. “That it is, and I have only one padawan to mind, never mind your whole temple! How many have you now?” he asked.

“About twenty now. They range in age from just seven to virtually fully grown padawans- they will become Knights themselves very shortly,” Luke answered, then tilted his head as he caught sight of someone. “Here comes one now, if I am not mistaken,”. The trio turned to see a very tall, slightly gangly teenage boy with raven black hair and prominent ears. As he walked closer to them Ayla could see the slight scowl on his face, before he halted in front of them and bowed brusquely to Luke and Fallon. 

“My nephew, Ben,” Luke introduced him. “Ben, this Master Fallon; you have met him before, briefly, of course, and this is his apprentice, Ayla,”. Ben nodded to Fallon, who smiled back at him. 

“How you have grown, Ben! I hear good reports of you from your uncle,” he said genially. Ayla noticed a shadow pass over Luke’s face at that comment, but quickly schooled his face into a smoothly smiling face. 

“Really,” Ben remarked neutrally, and, if Ayla was not mistaken, a little awkwardly. He turned to look at her and offered her his hand politely. Ayla reached forward to touch the large, pale hand in greeting; but the moment that she made contact, a jolt of incredible pain ran up her spine to her head, and the world went black.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! If you liked my story even a little bit, a Kudos or a comment would be so welcomed. It honestly makes my day *fan girl dance* Thanks!

Groaning, Ayla cracked open an eyelid. Her head felt like it was clamped in a vice; it throbbed and ached, and she felt a little sick from it. She felt like she could not concentrate, her brain seemingly a series of unconnected thoughts and sensations that she could make no sense of. Squinting against the bright light, she slowly opened both eyes half way.

“Ayla?” cane her Master’s worried voice. Though bright, Ayla could not quiet focus on anything in her visual field, and all she could see of her Master was a large shape leaning over her. She could not organise her thoughts enough to say anything, and managed only a low, pain filled groan in response to him. She felt a large hand stroke her hair back from her head, and another voice addressed her. 

“Can you remember what happened, Ayla?” came Luke Skywalker’s voice, pitched low and calm. She tried to concentrate, she really did, but she felt as though all her thoughts had become scrambled. She tried to shake her head, but the movement caused a wave of pain to overcome her, and she succumbed once more to unconsciousness. 

She woke later in an unfamiliar bed, a cover pulled up over her torso and resting on her collarbone. Opening her eyes was slightly less traumatic this time, and she was able to see a little better, although everything was slightly blurred still. Gingerly turning her head, she saw Master Fallon sat in a chair by her bed, studying a datapad with a slight frown tugging at his mouth. 

“Master?” she croaked, her voice hoarse. 

“Ayla!” he exclaimed, turning to look at her searchingly. He raised a hand and placed it atop hers where it lay on the bed covers.   
“How do you feel?” he asked. 

“Better than I did...when I woke before – I have never felt such pain,” she murmured. “But what happened to me?”she queried. 

“We don’t know precisely,” he replied. “You touched Ben – Luke’s nephew- and blacked out. You came to briefly but when you passed out once more, we deemed it best to make you comfortable. A medi-droid will be by soon to examine you again,” he explained. 

Ayla frowned. “Are you sure it was something to do with Ben? After all, I have never met him before. What about him would cause this?” she asked. She did not have a clue what might link him to this...this episode. She wasn’t quite sure what to call it, to be perfectly honest. It was not like her visions – they only came when she slept – and she had never experienced anything like this before. Perhaps it was just a coincidence that she had gone to shake hands with him when it came on – Alya had heard of certain types of headaches that came on suddenly, without warning, and were debilitating and painful. Migraines, she had heard them called. Perhaps that was it, perhaps that was all?

“Perhaps it was a migraine?” she offered. “I’ve heard they can be painful,” she said.

Master Fallon frowned thoughtfully. “It’s true that they can come on at anytime in life, and they certainly cause the sufferer a great deal of pain,” he admitted. “And there are no other symptoms?” he queried. Ayla shook her head. 

Just then, the door to the room opened to admit a medi-driod, who bustled into the room. After introducing itself, it took various measurements of Ayla’s health, including a blood test, and it too came to the conclusion that in the absence of other symptoms, the episode was likely a migraine. 

“Should one come upon you again, or you find you feel unwell again, please come back for further evaluation,” it informed her, concluding its evaluation. “For the purposes of ensuring your optimal health, it is recommended that you spend the next night cycle in the medward for evaluation,” it informed her. Ayla groaned and opened her mouth to indignantly reply that there was no need for that, when she was forestalled by her Master. 

“The droid is correct, Ayla. Just to sure, you should spend the night here,” he said firmly. She knew that tone of voice, there would be no point in arguing with him. 

“Great,” she muttered. So she has come to a temple to mix with other students – something which historically had not gone well for her – and instead of quietly slipping in with them at dinner, she had to pass out. Oh, and then get carried in (no doubt in full view of them all) to the medward, and to cap it all off, she would have to remain overnight, before being released to what she felt sure would be whispers and sniggers – more than her presence would normally generate anyway, if her past experiences were anything to go by.

“We want to try something, as well,” her Master continued, as though she had not spoken. She quirked an eyebrow in disinterest.

“We want to bring Ben in, to be sure that all is well,” he said. Ayla groaned. Excellent, another chance to alienate the young man she had so briefly met. However, she knew there was no avoiding it if Fallon and Luke had decided it. Giving a resigned nod, she watched as the medi-droid left and her Master spoke into a communicator, whilst she lay back against the covers and tried to relax. Ruffling her hands through her hair, she attempted to make her hair a little less wild, and straightened her robes so that they sat a little more normally, whilst she tried to appear disinterested in what was to occur.

All too soon, she heard footsteps in the corridor outside and she tried to brace herself for either another round of extreme pain or extreme embarrassment as she confronted the youth she had met before. All eyes were upon her as he and his uncle approached her slowly. Up close, she could appreciate him a little more; she saw the artfully messy black hair, the small moles that littered his face, the strength concealed beneath his robes and his eyes...His brown eyes, that appeared so hard to those who looked, but underneath them – underneath them, she saw a world of hurt in those deep brown eyes. 

Gingerly, he reached forward to touch her hand, his hands large, his fingers slender. She inhaled sharply as he touched her hand, his fingers warm, but otherwise there was no reaction. Both Luke and Fallon stared at her intently, and after a moment Ayla raised her gaze to Ben’s. She smiled at him tentatively and gave a little shrug.

“A one time wonder I think then,” she quipped, trying to break the tense mood. “Looks as though I’m fine,” she observed. 

Fallon and Luke both exchanged glances, then nodded. 

“Well, that’s one thing sorted,” Luke said mildly with a smile. “Ben, why don’t you keep Ayla company for a while? She has to stay in overnight to be sure, so I’m sure she would welcome the company whilst I monopolise her Master for a short time,” her proposed. Ben started slightly, then nodded reluctantly. Ayla noted that he did not seem enthusiastic at the prospect. The two Masters rose and left, Fallon giving her his assurance that he would be back shortly. 

She fidgeted awkwardly, not knowing what to say to this nephew of the famed Luke Skywalker, whose touch had triggered such pain in her and whose demeanour now screamed his desire to leave. 

“So,” she began. “Ah...you’re Luke Skywalker’s newphew?”

She could not have apparently made a worse comment, as a stern frown crossed his face, and he removed his warm hand from hers. 

“That’s what I’m told. I’m also told I am nothing like him,” he said curtly, striding away from the bed. 

“Master Fallon says you should never be anything other than who you are,” Ayla parroted without thinking; it was something he said so often she had taken it to heart. 

Ben snorted. “Well, what if you are is never good enough?” he asked challengingly. “Never as good as your sainted Uncle? As politically astute as your famous mother? As charming as your father?” he said heatedly, his posture tense, his expression a mix of fury and something Ayla could not recognise. Shame? A sense of...not being good enough? Ayla realised that he must be the child of Leia Organa and Hans Solo – a legacy indeed.

“I assure you – I know a great deal about not fitting in,” she said fiercly. A shadow crossed her face as she recalled incidents from her past. “Of people being afraid of you – of what you can do, of what you might do,” she said heatedly. “I know exactly what that is like,”.

She seemed to have gotten through his anger that he wore like a cloak around him.

“What do you mean,” he grunted, temporarily drawn away from his anger and self-hatred.

She sighed. “I’m sure you know who I am. At times, it seems like the whole Galaxy knows who I am. They know who I am and what I am capable of...and they fear me for it,” she began. “And people….sometimes people are not kind,” she trailed off. Ben tilted his head, his soft black hair falling around his face. Ayla sighed once more. 

“If you really want to hear, you had best sit down,” she invited. “It’s a long story and quite frankly not a pleasant one,” she warned him. He regarded her for a moment, and then begrudgingly strode to the chair beside her bed that Master Fallon had previously occupied, and motioned for her to begin.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am really enjoying writing this work - if you enjoy it even a little bit, a Kudos or a comment would literally make my day! Any comments or suggestions are welcome :)

“I was born on a small Outer Rim planet,” Aylan began. “My parents weren’t rich; my father worked as a mechanic, and my mother was not able to work due to a back injury she sustained before I was born. They couldn’t afford proper medical care, just a local healer to visit us to what she could. He told her she was unlikely to work again and most likely could never bear children, so I was a real surprise to them. I was their miracle child, they told me…,Not that I remember it much, I was only young, but I remember they always were so thankful to have me...” she drifted off, pin pricks of tears beginning to appear in her eyes. She scrubbed at her face, determined not to cry. Ben shifted slightly in his seat, looking at her out of the corner of her eye. 

“Then, when I was about six, my mother had taken me to town to meet my father coming back from work. She walked slowly due to her back and used a cane, but I loved walking with her – my parents were everything to me. As we approached the old shop where we worked, I saw a man run towards us, shoving past my mother and I to get to the front of the shop. He pulled a blaster from his coat and cornered my father and the owner of the shop as they made their way out of the entrance; he grabbed my father roughly and screamed at the owner to give him the money.”

Ayla looked up at Ben. “I...I didn’t mean to do it! I was so young...I didn’t know what I was doing...”

He surveyed her calmly. “What happened?” he asked. Ayla looked down at her lap, twisting her fingers in her bed covers. 

“That was when my Force powers came out,” she whispered. “I saw my father in danger, and it was like a dam opened. All of this power rushed out of me, towards this man who was threatening Papa….He – he fell. To the floor. And people started screaming and running away from me...”

“You killed him,” Ben said impassively. Ayla shook her head. 

“No – he wasn’t dead, just badly stunned. I was six and had no idea about the Force, I couldn’t have killed him. But he fell to the floor and people thought he was dead. My father stumbled back from the man and looked at me, as though he did not know who I was. It was obviously me who had done it – my little arm was outstretched, my scream had echoed around the small street. My mother stared at me in horror,” she said miserably. She jerked her head up. “I didn’t mean to, I swear! I was only six….” she trailed off. 

Ben let out a deep sigh. “It wasn’t your fault. Your force powers were awakened by seeing your father in danger. You were only six,” he said, and Ayla thought she could detect a hint of compassion in his voice. 

“My parents – they had heard of the Force although it wasn’t widely spoken of or understood, and people associated it with the Sith, you see, and thought it was sign of evil. They knew enough to contact the Grey Jedi. They told me I could stay until they arrived. They wouldn’t touch me or look at me...I was their miracle child and now I had ruined it by displaying powers they didn’t understand. The Grey Jedi came at once, alarmed at the sound of one so young displaying such power. My parents did not even look at me as they shooed me towards the Masters that came for me. The Masters themselves were uncertain what to do.”

Ayla looked at Ben. “My powers are beyond those in any recorded history. My Force sensitivity is the strongest of any individual that has ever lived, and people are afraid of that. A young child, stronger even than Darth Vader, with potentially limitless power…. Such a child could be very dangerous. An adult, even more so if they chose to use their powers for evil.”

Ben’s head had cocked to the side when she mentioned Darth Vader, and she recalled that he was Ben’s grandfather. She wondered perhaps if he too knew what it was like to be feared for your powers. 

“A child with such powers quickly becomes notorious. Simple childish things like getting upset, or playing, ended up in disaster – buildings shaken, people stunned, objects flying around at random. I honestly couldn’t control it, and it was decided that I needed to be trained as a matter of urgency. They gave me to Master Fallon, and he… He has literally saved me. I was a frightened little girl, whose parents rejected her and who didn’t understand why things seemed to happen when she got upset or happy, and he taught me to control it, to harness it, to use it for good. Even still, people often don’t want to be around me. They think that if they upset me, the building will come crashing around me, or that I will Force choke them; they are afraid of me before they even know me as a person. That was why I could rarely train with the other padawans – they didn’t want to train with someone so strong as it made them feel weak, and they protested loudly that I would hurt them. Their protests were not quiet. I spent most of my childhood alone except for Master Fallon. Even when I do things for good – I have visions that predict disasters – I am not wanted. So yes, I know what it is like to be born with extraordinary powers, and to be utterly alone with them,” she finished quietly. 

Ben had been looking at her intently. “Yes,” he murmured. “You do”. There was silence for a little while. “I have heard of you,” Ben confessed. “I have heard much of what you have said – that you are stronger with the Force than any known people. People always fear strength, and they always fear those who are different. I am different. I have the blood of Darth Vader and people watch me as well, just waiting for me to snap and end up like him. You have power greater than his, and people are just waiting for you to snap as well,” he finished. 

Ayla nodded. “So we both know what it is like to never belong,” she agreed. “But I should not complain. I can do a great deal of good with my powers and surely that’s what counts,” she said firmly. 

“You’re very certain of your path,” Ben noted. “You know what you want to do. You want to help people, no matter how they reject you”. 

“How can I not?” Ayla asked. I have these powers, whether I want them or not, so I have to use them somehow. So I will use them for good. That is, when I am not in a medbay,” she added, smiling. 

Ben gave a small smile, the corners of his lips just turning up. “It was quite an entrance,” he smirked. Ayla groaned theatrically.

“I can’t wait to get out of here! I hate medbay,” she complained. 

“You’ll be out tomorrow, and they you’ll be joining us in lessons soon enough,” Ben pointed out. He made a face. “I think I’d rather be in Medbay,” he admitted. 

“Well, Master Fallon did mention training missions. Perhaps we’ll be on one soon,” Ayla said hopefully. “That is – if – if you wanted to partner me,” she said shyly. She found the young man abrupt and morose but she sensed there was more to this lonely padawan; that there was kindness in him too, and she knew all to well how he must feel. 

Ben cleared his throat. “If Master Luke says we must complete a training mission, then obviously I have to do as my Master orders,” he said piously. Ayla hid a smile, suspecting this was as close to his saying he wanted to partner her as he was able to come.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I've been writing this for a few weeks and I can honestly say that I love doing so. I hope that it is improving as I go; if you have any ideas or suggestions, please let me know! I get so excited when I see that someone has looked at my story, and it would really make my day if you could give it Kudos (assuming you think it deserves it!) or comment as it makes me *happy dance*! Thanks!

Ayla shyly moved forward to join the throng of padawans who moved through the main entrance to the temple. She had been released from Medbay that morning; Master Fallon had collected and informed her that she would be joining the older padawans at their practice this morning. She groaned – great, they were all going to stare at her, and she just knew it was going to be awkward. 

“Now, now Ayla. You must give them a chance before you decide that they don’t like you,” he said firmly. He knew what she had been through, that she was routinely ignored or teased for being different but was of the opinion that the more she pulled away from other people, the more she would feed their fear. Only by standing tall would she show them she was not what they thought, he argued. She agreed in principle but in reality it really wasn’t that easy. It was fine for Master Fallon – he had been the perfect padawan, cutting his braid at the young age of twenty-five. Grey Jedi trained for longer than the Jedi Luke Skywalker trained; they believed that experience was to be valued, and only once they were believed ready would they be allowed to become a true Grey Jedi (although she hoped she would not take as long as the longest padawan on record – forty-five years). 

She suddenly spotted a dark-haired man walking slightly apart from the other padawans, and swerved off to join him. 

“Hey,” she said quietly, trying to keep up with his lengthy stride. He glanced down at her, startled, then quirked up one side of his mouth in what seemed to be his version of a friendly smile. 

“Out of medbay and into the fire?” he said wryly. Ayla grimaced. 

“Yep. Yet another chance to stared at. Five credits says it takes less than four minutes for the comments about how I’m about to kill them all to start,” she replied, forcing a cheery tone. Ben snorted and they walked companionably to a large open space to the side of the temple, where Luke Skywalker stood, clapping his hands to draw everyone’s attentions. Ayla noticed Master Fallon off to the right, watching. 

“Is he going to join in?” Ben whispered, jerking his chin towards Master Fallon. Ayla shrugged; he hadn’t mentioned either way. 

“Now, today we will be concentrating on duelling. Training lightsabres only,” he added, a twinkle in his eyes. “You have all mastered the various Forms of lightsaber combat, and have practised duelling before, so it is the same protocol as before – partner up, bow and begin,” he instructed. 

Ayla glanced quickly at Ben, a question in her eyes. He nodded slightly, and relieved, Ayla moved forward to grab two training lightsabers. Tossing one to Ben, she faced him as all the padawans took up position in their pairs, and bowed respectfully to him before igniting her lightsaber. She tried to ignore the stares already beginning from the pair next to them, two girls about her age, one with braided blonde hair and the other very tall with striking green eyes. Concentrating, she parried as Ben lunged forward, and met him strike for strike before catching him slightly off-guard as she swept underneath his outstretched arm and turned on him from behind. He ducked, barely missing her yellow beam and retreated a few steps, respect begrudgingly beginning to form in his eyes. They continued to fight, and Ayla had to admit, he was an excellent opponent. He had the benefit of height and weight as well as arm reach and he used these to his advantage well. However, she had a stronger grip of the Force than he did. 

She closed her eyes for a second that seemed to last an infinity as she felt for the power surrounding her. She called to it, and it responded, allowing her to see what Ben was going to do a split second before he did it. It added strength and speed to her body’s movements; this was why Force-Users were so powerful in battle. They could use the Force to bolster their attacks, to foresee their opponent’s movements, and Ayla was very powerful with the Force. 

She knew when he would aim an upswing towards her, where his feet would fall next; she could counter before he barely began, and move faster than a normal human. Before long, sweat beaded on his forehead as she corraled him backwards and forced him into evermore sloppy movements and she sensed others beginning to watch. She was aware of Master Fallon’s presence getting closer to her and if she just reached out a little more with the Force she could feel Luke watching as well, all without taking her eyes off of Ben. 

Ben cursed as she flicked the tip of his lightsaber away, catching it and forcing it to spin out of his hand. She powered her own one down, bending down to offer a hand from where he had slipped. He glared at her, then slowly allowed her to haul him from the floor. 

“Good fight,” he muttered begrudgingly. Clearly he didn’t lose often. She heard excited whispers as they turned and saw all twenty or so padawans watching them. Aya squirmed in embarrassment, she hated being the centre of attention and she couldn’t tell if they were laughing at her, laughing at Ben, or both. The idea that they might be impressed never crossed her mind. She eyed Master Fallon nervously and he smiled encouragingly at her, sweeping his hair from his eyes and clapping a hand on Luke’s shoulder whilst murmuring something in his ear. 

The girl originally stood next to Ayla with the striking green eyes spoke. “That. Was. Amazing,” she gushed, placing an emphasis on each word as she spoke it. The padawans around her all nodded excitedly. “No-one’s been able to beat Ben for months,” she said emphatically, shooting a smirk at Ben who glared back. 

“Ah...thank you?” Ayla said uncertainly. She didn’t want to upset Ben, but she was pleasantly surprised that they seemed to find her display interesting. 

“I’d heard you were strong with the Force but what you did was...beyond anything I’ve ever seen. Is it true your Midi-chlorian count is higher than Darth Vaders’?” came from small teenage boy with floppy brown hair. Ayla hesitated and nodded slightly, which was met with awed gasps. She disliked the comparison, and she felt Ben stiffen at her side, conscious that this was a sore subject for him. 

“Another go?” she said to Ben, hoping to drop the conversation topic. He shook his head.   
“You’ve embarrassed me enough for one day,” he grumbled. 

“I’d like to have a go – see what you’re really made of,” challenged a tall male with a feral grin that unsettled Ayla. Ben bent towards her and whispered in her ear. 

“That’s Jacques. He’s a real - ” here he stopped, clearly wrestling to find a polite version of what he wanted to say. “He’s got a nasty streak to him. Do me a favour and humiliate him publicly?” he requested, mischief glinting his eyes. She grinned in return and faced Jacques. 

“My pleasure,” she replied to him, twirling her lightsabre in her hand expertly. 

Ben laughed quietly as she was victorious in less than two minutes. “You owe me five credits,” he reminded her. There hadn’t been a single negative whisper all day. She smiled slightly and bumped his shoulder as they walked off to dinner.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm back from holiday with a new chapter that I hope you like! Kudos/comments are all so, so welcome - it would honestly make my day :) If you know of any way to improve my writing, please let me know! I hope you enjoy it :)

Ayla peeked out of one eye as she heard her Master shift again on the floor of the chamber they were sitting on whilst meditating. He was normally far more exemplary than her when it came to meditation; she enjoyed it but sometimes, boredom got the better of her and she ended up daydreaming. She knew it was wrong, and she truly did usually enjoy the serenity that floating in the gentle embrace of the Force afforded her, but – quite honestly, she sometimes just zoned out, or thought about the latest book she was reading, the latest holovid she had seen….

Finally, after hearing him shift yet again, she ventured to ask, “Master...are you alright?”.  
He opened his eyes with a start, obviously not realising he had been observed. 

“I am a little distracted,” he admitted, smiling ruefully. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you,” he added. 

“Can I help?” she asked. Master Fallon virtually took the place of her Father in her eyes, and with that came the absolute faith that he knew what he was doing at all times, so she was curious about the cause of such distraction. 

He looked her at her with such a penetrating gaze that she could hardly look away, as he tilted his head as he observed her, before he sighed deeply.

“Luke and I have been talking,” he began slowly. This instantly had Ayla’s attention. Since the mention of Ben and her going on a mission together all those weeks ago in the Medbay, she had – and secretly, she thought Ben had too – been desperate to partner up together, to get off if this planet and go somewhere. She had been on many missions with her Master as part of her training since she had reached adulthood, and they formed a routine part of training. Not that they ever involved anything too dangerous, usually just scouting, or retrieving objects that were of some significance to the Jedi, but it was interesting to have a chance to do something that wasn’t training for a change. Ben and Ayla had had many sparring sessions since the last and she was eager to see how they would fare in real battle together; in their last one, Luke had paired them against another couple and their respective fighting styles seemed to effortlessly meld into one as they fought back to back and they almost seemed to read the others’ actions, anticipating their moves and acting accordingly. 

“You and Ben seemed well matched in the sparring session yesterday,” he continued. Ayla forced herself to concentrate on not turning red at his comment. “Luke and I were wondering about whether it was time to send you both out for some practice,” he said, confirming Ayla’s hopes. 

“I’d love that!” She nodded eagerly. “I think we work really well together, and Ben’s so knowledgable, it would be so helpful if we get stuck somewhere and – what?” she asked, at her Master’s knowing smile. He shook his head, suppressing his smile and feigning ignorance. 

“We need approval from both Jedi councils of course, as a matter of routine so perhaps it won’t be for a week or two. But I believe it will be good for you both, for you to develop a working relationship with another padawan, and he to…,” he tailed off, looking for the right words. 

“Develop a relationship with anyone?” she suggested with a grin. Ben’s standoffishness was well known to them both. Ayla was allowed “in” to the private world he inhabited in his head, but it was a privilege afforded to very few, if any others, and she treasured it all the more for its’ rarity, although her heart couldn’t help but ache for the sadness she saw deep within him. Fallon shot her a disapproving look at her bluntness, but conceded the point with a nod of his head. 

“But I do worry,” he said carefully. “You have had such little experience working with others,” he said. Ayla winced. She hadn’t been able to mix with the other padawans’ much, and had never been on a mission on her own without his supervision - at the other padawan’s insistence - even if he allowed her free reign to do what she felt was appropriate at the time. 

“- and certainly not with that freak. She’s as likely to lose control and kill me as she is to do anything useful!” echoed in her head, the end of a stinging tirade delivered by a fellow Grey Jedi padawan who had refused to be partnered with Ayla for a mission. The table in the room began vibrating slowly, and rose a few inches off the floor and the lamp that stood upon it threatened to shatter with the force of the vibrations going through it. She shook her head almost violently, trying to pull in the threads of the Force that were spilling out of her. Gritting her teeth, she concentrated with all her might, fighting to centre herself as she tried to coax the Force back into herself, trying to gently stroke it as though calming an angry animal. Slowly, the table came down and Fallon stroked her shoulder gently.

“You’re getting so much better,” he praised gently. In a way, she supposed she was; the memory of such an upsetting event likely would have brought the ceiling down a few years ago. She hated that thought and tried to move on, by asking who the “others” would be.

“You and Ben will working with the other padawans but the actual retrieval will be up to you and Ben alone,” he elaborated. She frowned. 

“But what about you and Master Luke?”

“Neither of us will be coming,” he said solemnly. Ayla could only gape at him. She had never been allowed to run a mission solo. Ever. And it was with Ben! She grinned, and Fallon smiled back in obvious pleasure at her happiness. 

“Go on – I can tell you’re dying to tell him,” he added, and with that, she bounded to her feet and headed to Ben’s room. Blatantly ignoring the implicit rule of females not going to the males’ corridor (and vice versa) she found Ben writing at his desk. She had initially found his habit of writing longhand bizarre, given that hand writing notes or books was virtually obsolete, but now found it rather….endearing. He started at her noisy entrance and cursed quietly as his hand slipped and he gouged a large mark in his paper with his pen. 

“Did you hear?” she asked excitedly. He shook his long hair out of his face as he looked at her with an air of indifference that she knew masked his true feelings. He appeared aloof and haughty to others, but underneath she knew he actually concealed a deep pool of feelings that she suspected was at least in part full of hurt. She knew because she felt the same at times. They were both outsiders, always different. 

“We’re running a mission together. Alone!” she elaborated. He nodded.

“It’s my first,” she informed him. “Running a mission alone, that is,” she added. She cocked her head to the side. “Have you ever run one alone?” she asked. 

He shook his head, exuding boredom. She grinned and slapped him playfully on the shoulder. 

“So it’s a first for both of us then,”. 

“It’s only a mission,” he said reprovingly. 

“Like you’re not excited as well!” she accused him. A slight grin appeared on his mouth and he reluctantly conceded the point with a nod. She beamed enthusiastically, and he couldn’t help but smile back in response to her happiness.

“I don’t think anyone’s ever been this excited to work with me,” he muttered drily. 

“Well, no one’s ever wanted to work with me,” she reminded him. To him, she could admit the how she really felt because he felt it too; to him, she could be herself in a way she couldn’t be with anyone else, not even Master Fallon. He looked at her sympathetically. 

“How about we review the details of the planet we’re going to,” he offered. He knew she loved to learn from him, as he knew a great deal about – well, everything that had ever been written, or so it seemed. She nodded and settled in beside him at the desk.


End file.
